Monday, February 16, 2009

My Unforgotten Valentine...

The way was hard, sometimes. And so often you would thank me - for little things like toast and honey, and a pen than wouldn't run dry when you had to write lying down. And you'd tell me that I'd touched your life, and that you were glad that you had found me.

But looking back, as I sift through the memories and trace their textured colours, I see now that it wasn't like that at all. The real truth? I could be strong, because your strength was so much greater. I could have faith, because your faith was so much simpler. I could endure, because your courage was so much deeper

Somehow you filled the space you were in. Not with words, or with demands, or even obligations. Just filled it gently, then overflowed, and gave, and gave, and gave. I knew from the start that I would always share you with the world. Everyone loved you, and there was just too much of you for only one heart to hold. But that was okay, too, because somehow the more you gave, the more you had to give.

Our time was so short, and now our "together-dreams" are gone. But we had so much. We lived so much. And I had the most precious gift of all. I had the chance to walk with you, even just for a little while. To share the moments of pain and to comfort you, the moments of fear and to hold you, the moments of peace and the moments of joy, and to be touched by your humility and your courage. I was able to walk with you, and then to watch as you walked on out of sight to a place where I cannot follow until another time.

But, though the empty space in my heart is now as great as the space you once filled, I can be at peace with your going, just as you were. And I can be at peace because, through all those long, dark hours, it wasn't I who prepared you for the dying, but you who prepared me for the staying behind.

The way was hard, sometimes. And so often you would thank me for the little things. And you said that you were glad that you had found me, and that I had touched your life. But, looking back, I see that if I did, in some small way, touch your life, it was because of the way you loved me. And in giving me the joy of loving you my life was touched, and healed, and changed. And, for just a little while, I held in my hand the most precious gift of all.

A tribute to my late husband Gary
My Unforgotten Valentine...

Who passed away from bone cancer almost 12 years ago.

The man who taught me that fishing could be the most romantic thing ever (see
My Most Romantic Moment) has, sadly,

Gone Fishing...


Lindsay Townsend said...

A powerful and poignant tribute, Jude. Thank you so much for sharing it.

Kaye Manro said...

This is so beautiful, Jude. What a wonderful tribute and memory. I'm glad you shared it.

Lisa said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute and memory.

Savanna Kougar said...

Jude, my tears are good tears. Thank you for sharing your heart and the heart of your late husband with us.
I'll never think of 'going fishing' in the same way.
Just beautiful.

Linda Banche said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you for posting it.